- Many people aren't sure what their strengths are. Drucker offers a helpful definition: What are you good at that consistently produces desired results?
- Research by Gallup shows that the more hours per day you spend doing what you're good at, the less stressed you feel and the more you laugh, smile, and feel you're being treated with respect.
- Without an existing passion and being so eager to please, valedictorians often head in the wrong direction when they are finally free to choose.
- If someone is too nice, people figure they must be less competent. In fact being a jerk makes other see you as more powerful. Feeling powerless actually makes you dumber.
- Managing what your boss thinks of you is far more important than actual hard work.
- Why do jerks succeed? they're assertive about what they want, and they're not afraid to let others know about what they've achieved.
- Always worrying about being cheated or killed makes transactions too costly, preventing efficient dealings. You need rules and cooperation, and that means trust.
- Economists call it the "discipline of continuous dealings". When you know what trust someone, it makes the transaction smoother and faster. The longer the time the anticipated we be dealing with someone, better the behavior we can expect.
- Never betray anyone initially. But if a person cheats you, don't be a martyr.
- The people who surround us, often determine who we become. Studies show that your boss has a much larger effect on your happiness and success then the company at large.
- When people do too much and don't ever push back they get taken for granted. A mere two hours a week of helping others is enough to get maximum benefits, no need for guilt and no excuse for saying you don't have time to help others.
- So what's a good balance? Every Friday send your boss an email summarizing your accomplishments for the week.
- So to the best of your ability, make things longer term. Build more steps into the contract. The more things seem like a one-off, the more incentive people have to pull one over you.
- Research shows that even a feeling of control kills stress. Even when you just feel you have control, stress plummets.
- What's a system that will work when you're trying to turn dreams into reality? How do you know what to quit and what to stick with? One researcher came up with a shockingly easy system. It's called woop.
- Not only the dreaming not bring you your desires; dreaming actually hurts your chances of getting what you want. It turns out that your brain isn't very good at telling fantasy from reality. When you dream, that gray matter feels you already have what you want and so it doesn't marshall the resources you need to motivate yourself and achieve. Instead, it relaxes. And you do less, accomplish less, and those dreams stay mere dreams. Are you dreaming about how svelte you'll look in that swimsuit after the diet? Women who did that just lost 24 lb fewer than those who didn't. Fantasizing about getting that perfect job? Those who dwelled on it on it sent Fewer applications and ended up getting fewer offers.
- If dreaming is so bad, why do we do it? Because it's the mental equivalent of getting drunk: It feels really good right now but doesn't lead to good things later. Fantasizing gives the reward before we've accomplished the task and sap's the energy we need to realize it.
- To balance grit and quit use woop : Wish, outcome, obstacle, plan.
The cool thing is that this process doesn't sap your drive the way just fantasizing does.. But there's an even bigger and benefit to whoop one thats key when you're thinking about Grit and quit. It's like a personal litmus test for feasibility. when your goal is unrealistic you will find yourself less energized and you know it
- That's what you need: A plan. Most of us don't take the time. We are reactive, like the tribes of the steppes.
- You need a plan, or you're always going to feel like you're not doing enough. We have so many options these days, that we end up being Pickers, not choosers.
- Being reactive doesn't just hurt your chances of getting what you want; it also reduces your chances of real happiness. Research shows we often don't choose to do what really makes us happy; we choose what's easy. e.g. TV
- Without a plan, we do whats passive and easy- not what is really fulfilling. The most effective method for reducing stress was having a plan. When we think about obstacles ahead of time and consider how to overcome them, we feel in control.. That's the secret to really getting things done.
- A feeling of control motivates us to act. When we think we can make a difference, we're more likely to engage. Things aren't as scary when we have our hands on the wheel.
- The most interesting part - is that it is not actually being in control that causes All these changes, it's just the feeling of control.
- When you're stressed out, you literally can't think straight.
