My favorite bits from : "You, Your child and school" by Ken Robinson

"Will my children discover their true potential and be guided to a career that they love and are passionate about?"

Children are beautifully designed by nature to direct their own education. Children love questioning, and participating. These educative instincts still work beautifully for children who are provided with conditions that allow them to flourish.

Children are very curious. The first priority in education is to keep their Curiosity alive. When children want to learn, they enjoy education. The more Curious children are as they grow, the more they will learn and the more subtle their abilities and sensibilities will become.  How do parents and teachers keep children curious? By intriguing them questions that interest them and by engaging them in projects that inspire them. Kindling your children's curiosity in the most formative years is a gift that will sustain them in a lifetime of learning.

Communication
Fluency in Reading and Writing are accepted imperatives in education, it's just as important to cultivate clear and confident speech. Communication is not only about words and numbers. The ability to communicate thoughts and feelings in all these ways is fundamental to personal well-being and to social confidence and connection.

 Martin Seligman is one of the founding figures of the positive psychology movement. Happiness can be analyzed into three different elements: Positive emotions, engagement and meaning. Engagement is about flow - the loss of self-consciousness during an absorbing activity. Meaning is belonging to and serving something that you believe is bigger than the self.  If you feel what you're doing matters to you or to people around you, you're more likely to enjoy doing it.
Career well-being, social well-being, financial well-being, physical well-being, community well being - your sense of Engagement with the area where you live.

If your career deteriorates, it's easy to see how it can cause deterioration in other areas over time

Well-being is more than a fleeting sense of pleasure. It comes from helping people find their talents, interest and purpose: their Element.
Well-being comes from helping children look outward as well as inward: Mindfulness and service to others more than self-absorption.

Well being is as much about effort as circumstances.

Language arts
Language education should include developing a love of literature in all its forms. It should involve developing the skills of what is sometimes called Oracy - being able to speak clearly and confidently and to listen with patience and attention to others.

Math is the ability to understand and work with numbers. Its foundations in education are  in arithmetic- addition subtraction multiplication and division.

In his book : High performers: The secrets of successful schools, he says" students with the best teachers in the best schools learn at at least three times more each year than students with the worst teachers in the worst schools"

The role of teachers is to create the best conditions for learning to happen.
Great teachers keep the students involved, curious, and excited about learning. They Inspire the students to achieve at the highest levels. They instill a Joy for learning, for seeing class time work that comes with it as something to be anticipated rather than endured. They set off Sparks of curiosity in the classroom , and you never know what these sparks will ignite.  Key to deep engagement in High School classrooms is intellectual playfulness. Teachers who offer assignments that are open-ended and projects with intellectual risk are more likely to have students who were consistently engaged.

Exuberant discovery.

Great teachers cultivate task confidence by  developing students abilities in their own areas of expertise. Acquire Knowledge and Skills they need to become independent learners : To experiment, ask questions, and develop the skills in creative and critical thinking.

Great teachers have high expectations for their students.

Great teachers are constantly Reinventing their classrooms and evaluating their own progress with the students. They are relentless

Homework for young students should be short, lead to success without much struggle, can usually involve parents and when possible, use out of school activities that kids enjoy.

Page 184  read in grade 6 and 7

No homework policy in some schools.
Students daily home assignment

1. Read just-right books every night. And have your parents read to you too.

2. Get outside and play- this does not mean more screen time.

3. Get a good night sleep.


One year on, students have not fallen behind and now have time to be creative thinkers at home and follow their passions. No homework for Kinder through 5th grade doesn't erase learning, but help students tolerate an often long day better and encourages them to pursue their unique interests after school.

Tie homework to real life activities. Get creative particularly with young children.

The first priority in education is to keep children's curiosity alive. The more Curious children are as they grow the more they will learn. how do parents and teachers keep children Curious? by intriguing them with questions. By giving them tasks that challenge them. By engaging them and projects that Inspire them. Kindling your children's curiousity in their most formative years is a gift that will sustain them in a lifetime of learning.

Learning to communicate ideas clearly and coherently is essential to our relationships. It's important to cultivate clear and confident speech.

Martin Seligman is one of the founding figures of the positive psychology movement. Happiness can be analyzed into three different women's: Emotions, engagement, meaning.
Positive emotions are what we feel.
Engagement is about flow: " being one with the music, time stopping, loss of self-conscious during an absorbing activity".
Meaning:" belonging to and serving something that you believe is bigger than the self"

we Spend most of our waking hours during the week doing something that we consider a career, occupation, vocation or job. If your career well-being is low, easy to see how it can cause deterioration over other areas over time. If you have a career that is. Meaningful, you are likely thriving in career well-being.

Expose your children to measured risk. Let them fail.

From https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2016/10/how-to-deal-with-psychopaths/

Here’s how to deal with a psychopath:

• Don’t. 1) Run. 2) Are you sure you can’t run?
• Accept that some people are just bad news: A tiger is not a good house pet. And you will not change that fact.
• Pay attention to actions, not words: No excuses. No BS. Use the “Rule of Threes.”
• Build your reputation and relationships: You need a good defense and good advice.
• Win-win agreements: Make it easier to go through you than to destroy you.

When in the middle of a deathmatch with a ruthless monster of a human being, being cynical is like having ESP. A jaded perspective can keep you one step ahead of them. But in the long term it can be toxic.

Don’t give up on all people just because you dealt with a really bad one.

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/psychologist-says-parents-should-18-things-raise-more-confident-child-a7453631.html

3. Let them figure out problems by themselves"Parental help can prevent confidence derived from self-help and figuring out on the child's own," Pickhardt explains.
In other words, better that your child gets a few B's and C's rather than straight A's, so long as they are actually learning how to solve the problems and do the work.

4. Let them act their ageDon't expect your child to act like an adult. "When a child feels that only performing as well as parents is good enough, that unrealistic standard may discourage effort," he says. "Striving to meet advanced age expectations can reduce confidence."

5. Encourage curiositySometimes a child's endless stream of questions can be tiresome, but it should be encouraged.
Asking questions is a helpful exercise for a child's development because it means they realize that "there are things they don't know ... that there are invisible worlds of knowledge they have never visited."

When children start school, those from households that encouraged curious questions have an edge over the rest of their classmates because they've had practice taking in information from their parents, The Guardian reported, and that translates to taking in information from their teacher. In other words, they know how to learn better and faster.

8. Never criticize their performanceNothing will discourage your child more than criticizing his or her efforts. Giving useful feedback and making suggestions is fine — but never tell them they're doing a bad job.

If your kid is scared to fail because they worry you'll be angry or disappointed, they'll never try new things.

"More often than not, parental criticism reduces the child's self-valuing and motivation," says Pickhardt.

9. Treat mistakes as building blocks for learning"Learning from mistakes builds confidence," he says. But this only happens when you, as a parent, treat mistakes as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Don't be over-protective of your child. Allow them to mess up every now and then, and help them understand how they can better approach the task next time.

Pickhardt says parents should see "uh-oh" moments as an opportunity to teach their kids not to fear failure.

10. Open the door to new experiencesPickhardt says you, as a parent, have a responsibility to "increase life exposures and experiences so the child can develop confidence in coping with a larger world."
Exposing children to new things teaches them that no matter how scary and different something seems, they can conquer it.

11. Teach them what you know how to do
You are your child's hero — at least until they're a teenager.
Use that power to teach them what you know about how to think, act, and speak. Set a good example, and be a role model.
Pickhardt says watching you succeed will help your child be more confident that they can do the same.

12. Don't tell them when you're worried about themParental worry can often be interpreted by the child as a vote of no confidence, he says. "Expressing parental confidence engenders the child's confidence."

13. Praise them when they deal with adversity
Life is not fair. It's hard, and every child will have to learn that at some point.
When they do encounter hardships, Pickhardt says parents should point out how enduring these challenges will increase their resilience.
It's important to remind your child that every road to success is filled with setbacks, he adds.

14. Offer your help and support, but not too much of itGiving too much assistance too soon can reduce the child's ability for self-help, says Pickhardt.
"Making parental help contingent on the child's self-help first can build confidence."

15. Applaud their courage to try something newWhether it's trying out for the travel basketball team or going on their first roller coaster, Pickhardt says parents should praise their kids for trying new things. He suggests saying something as simple as, "You are brave to try this!"

"Comfort comes from sticking to the familiar; courage is required to dare the new and different," he says.

16. Celebrate the excitement of learningWhen you're growing up, the journey is more important than the destination.
So whether your child makes the winning goal for his team or accidentally kicks it out of bounds, applaud their effort, Pickhardt says. They should never feel embarrassed for trying.
"Over the long haul, consistently trying hard builds more confidence than intermittently doing well," he explains.

17. Don't allow them to escape reality by spending all their time on the internetDon't allow your kid to hide behind a computer screen. Instead, encourage them to engage with real people in the real world.


18. Be authoritative, but not too forceful or strictWhen parents are too strict or demanding, the child's confidence to self-direct can be reduced.
"Dependence on being told can keep the child from acting bold," he says.

From Raising Happiness:
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_get_kids_to_do_boring_but_necessary_tasks

I've never found insulting my children to be particularly effective.
Instead to begin mindfully I could first notice my feelings of anxiety and exhaustion. Notice that no matter how speedy we had been, I still would not have been able to get to work on time. Accepting the situation non-judgmentally, rather than futilely trying to force it to be something other than what it was would have left me open to more productive positive alternatives.

The keys to mindful parenting are as follows:
First, notice what is happening and what you're feeling and thinking and
Second accept what is going on without judgement


Bring your attention to your breath, focusing completely on the physical sensation of breathing. If your mind wanders or you noticed that you aren't paying attention to your breath anymore, simply return your attention to your breath. No need to worry about your wandering mind.; simply note what you were thinking about and move your attention back to your breath.
Use this focus on breathing in your daily life and encourage your children to do the same.
Whenever I'm feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or angry I take 5 deep breaths, paying as much attention to them as possible.

Motivating kids:
ERN : Empathy, rationale or Reason, and noncontrolling language. 
E : I know you don't really want to but you need to go brush your teeth right now. Why don't you want to go brush your teeth?
R :  Why you asking your kids to do that seemingly unimportant tasks? Please go brush your teeth so they feel clean and healthy today.
N : imply that they have a choice rather than using controlling language. " what I Propose is.." or " if you choose to...." or " it would be extremely helpful if you..". They were already rejecting the tasks repeatedly. Most kids know they will end up doing list of what we asked them to, but when we avoid controlling language they have a lot less to resist and this offer a lot less resistance.

Empathize, label and validate 
You're acting very angry and frustrated are you feeling small right now?
Is there anything else that you are feeling?
I'm so so so mad at you.
You're mad at me, tell me about that. are you disappointed because I won't let you have a playdate right now?
Yes I want to have that play date right now.
You seem sad.
Interestingly now she is calm, clearly needing a snack and a cuddle.

Kids frequently displace negative emotions on to their loving siblings, parents or caregivers, meaning that while Molly might be mad at herself, a classmate, or her teacher it would be normal for her to displace that emotion on to me when she gets home.

Conflict Resolution and Steps to peace:
1. Breathe.
2. Point out that there is a problem to be solved, and engage them in the problem-solving.
3. Help them calm down.
4. Have everyone State what they want.  uncoached kids fail to State what they want. Rule number one in getting what you want? Ask for it!
5 have everyone Express their feelings. I statement. I feel X when you do y. I feel so Furious when you mess up my fort.
6 it is now a problem they will solve together. Win win.


Start meditating. Have quiet time for reflection or meditation. Talking about things you feel grateful for is a simple way to bring more joy into your life. Regular exercise will make y who was there okay if you want to go back later you promise to do it I guess what I'm saying is out of this she not all thisou smarter as well as happier. Spend time in nature.